Wonder Wednesday

In preparation for Thanksgiving this year, I thought I would take the two months leading up to it to just celebrate God's beauty displayed in creation. I once read that one of the best remedies for a melancholy spirit was to get outside and just look up. How true I have found this to be.

All around us God has displayed his glory. His creation shouts his praise. His creation proclaims his wisdom. His creation melts hearts of sadness, fear and doubt to a place of recognizing the greatness of the God we worship and love. His creation reminds us that the pain we walk through, he knows. His creation causes the heart to sing, submit, and trust.

Take time to see the almighty hand of our loving Father today and wonder at his majesty with me.

The heavens declare the glory of God;

    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

2 

Day after day they pour forth speech;

    night after night they reveal knowledge.

Psalm 19:1-2

amazed, 

m

God Makes Diversity

A couple weeks ago we were talking about diversity.
For years now I have said to my son when he tried to tell me our skin colors were both white, "No, baby, God gave you beautiful brown skin.  God makes us all different.  One is not better than the other.  But your skin and my skin are not the same.  My is sort of pink. Yours is a light brown.  Some people have dark brown.  Some have really, very white, like your sister."
But, as is only natural, he wanted to be like his Mom and Dad.

Till three weeks ago when out of the blue he interjected in our 'adult discussion' on diversity, "I'll be your diversity!"

He's finally got it.  God made him the beautiful brown color that he is.
God's got it under control.
God makes beautiful.

m

Heart Song

I have two heart songs.
One I try to sing most mornings before I even get out of bed.  The other I am still working on memorizing the three short verses, committing it to my heart.
May your heart have a song of praise it sings/preaches to your soul no matter the circumstances you find yourself in.  If it doesn't, find a song with great truth and praise to our King and begin to sing. 

Give Me Jesus

In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise
In the morning, when I rise

Give me Jesus

 Chorus

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus

And when I am alone

Oh and when I am alone
And when I am alone
Give me Jesus

(chorus)

And when I come to die
Oh and when I come to die
And when I come to die
Give me Jesus

(chorus)

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

What's your heart song?

m

Celebration of Old Age and Gray Hairs

A lot of people grow up without someone around them that they can look to and hope they will one day be a like.
For me, this is far from true.  Besides having incredible examples in my parents, I have had the joy and privilege of knowing my grandparents deeply.  God gave me 5 years of living with them in the same house during college as well as being able to watch them live and work here in our host country when I was younger.  We have a deep love for one another.  They support and encourage me from a distance.  Without a doubt, they will welcome me home no matter what state I return in.  I love them. They love me. 

Several months ago I travelled out to a village/city where several men shared of how they came to Jesus  began to serve him faithfully, much because of the influence of my grandpa.  One passed around pictures from years before.  My grandparents were there, just much younger! They have served the Lord faithfully for years! What a heritage! What a blessing! What an inspiration! What a thing to celebrate!

This morning I read: O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds. So even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those to come. Psalm 71:17-18

My heart flew to the memories of my grandparents. For years they have proclaim God's wondrous deeds. They have hearts of praise and thanksgiving. How many times have we sat together and sang songs of worship together! For years now they have proclaimed the might of God to my sisters, brother and I. Not only that, they have declared his power to my children, their grand children. My Grandma and Grandpa continue to hope in the Lord even though extremely difficult times.  They have made the Lord their hope, their trust and their refuge. Their lives are testimony of God's faithfulness and of his kind love and care to his children, "even to old age." Their marriage is a testimony of God's grace and of their submission to his plan for faithfulness and dependence on him to carry them through the years.  Today they celebrate their wedding anniversary. Today I celebrate old age and gray hair because of our faithful and gracious Father. Today I celebrate my Grandparents!

Thank you God for my Grandparents!

Celebrating old age, 

m

Is "Belonging" Everything, Something, or Nothing

As I rode home today in a rickshaw with my son, my dupatta (head scarf) blowing in the wind, giving directions first in one language than a second and neither of them my first, and with the music blaring from the speakers behind me, the thought entered my mind in full force, "I don't belong here.  But where do I belong?"  
I mostly felt this way because I realized that the blaring music turned no one's head.  No one cares here about "noise pollution." There is no thought to whether others will like your loud music or not, whether it's driving down the street or at 3am at a wedding held out on your street. My noise, is your noise and visa versa. Live with it.
For me, the blaring music was embarrassing, aggravating, and annoying.  Why? Because I don't belong. My worldview is different.  My thoughts were, "Our noise is going to make everyone look in this direction and there really is no need for encouragement of others to stare at me." I just don't belong.

For me, not belonging has been part of who I am from as far back as I can remember.
First, I was a PK. "Pastor's Kids" just aren't like everyone else.  People had a different expectation and outlook on who I was suppose to be.  Let the reader not read, "who I was."
From this I went to being a TCK. Third Culture Kids end up with a culture that is cannot be defined by race, language, country of origin, nor host country.
I am a "boarding kid," attending boarding school from the age of 8.
I married into a family from the South, yet another culture.
We then became parents of an almost 12 year old just after our second wedding anniversary which makes me the mother of a college sophomore this year at 33 years old.
Belong?

But what does it mean to "belong?"  So many people are looking to figure this out, to find their place in this world.  Lives are consumed with people looking for self actualization and finding the meaning of life, pursuing whatever it means for you to be you at your full potential and for you to belong in the community which provides you the praise and security you crave. 

But is this what we were made for? 
To belong, when it is terms of the world, is only temporary. Temporarily it will leave us feeling welcomed, accepted, and free to be "ourselves" in reaching our full potential.

But again I ask, is this what we were made for?
Why did God make us?
If I ask my 9 year old he will sing to me, "To glorify God and enjoy him forever."
So, is belonging in this world why I am here?
Is feeling accepted, that I belong, and am a unique or normal individual (whichever one I crave) necessary for true "self actualization?"
How will I reach my full potential?  By being safe, well-feed, in a stable environment of love and feelings of belonging?  
Those things are good but the truth is that I was made by God, for God and through peace with God and walking in his will, I will belong; not to this world but to an everlasting kingdom.  

I don't have to fit in or standout in order to belong.  
I already belong. 
I belong to Jesus.
Belonging is EVERYTHING when it's about belonging to the Kingdom of God!
How thankful I am to be part of the Kingdom of God! 

m

O To Be Found!

I lost Thomas.
We miscommunicated.
I stopped. He kept walking.
I turned round and found everyone but him.
My heart stopped. My soul raced to the Savior. My mouth moved.
"Where's my son?"
Louder, "Where did my son go?"
Culturally inappropriate?  I don't know. I only knew I had lost my son.
"There." "He is standing there."  "He went on that way."
My mind racing, "Do they know? Should I leave this spot? Do I go right or left?"

A boy the size of Thomas but probably close to 15 years old pointed.  He was standing up on a step so he could see further than I. "He's there."

I think I may have ran.
I know I shouted.

There he was, face as white as his little face can go.  Looking left. Looking right. Looking down the alley behind and in front.  He was terrified.

"We'll cry when we get home." We decided.  "But we can thank the Lord now."
We did.  Walking through the mass of black burqa's and chadors (large cloth I wear covering my head and much of my body).

"All I could see was black women everywhere," he said, "I didn't know which one was you."

I think I should buy a bright, sky blue chador to wear next time we are in the masses of black together.

A day later I am still thanking the Lord for his safety.
We have said "thank you" to the Lord over and over.
The story, when re-told to dad, grew in proportions!
We have looked at each other and said we love one another.
We have talked about the reality that Mom won't always be there, but the Lord will.
How glorious the feeling is to be found!  How good it is to be together!

Isn't that how it is with the Lord?  The moment we realize that we are lost, that's when we can be found.  When, in God's incomparable grace, he reveals to the depths of our hearts the horrible, death-saturated understanding that we are lost and that then leads us to the greatest, most life changing news; through Jesus, we can be found.  Just like the Prodigal Son, we must return to the feet of the Father, where we belong.  How good it is to know that we who were lost can be found.
Hallelujah, I am found!!!

Rembrant, "The Return of the Prodigal Son"

m

Back to Blogging

It has been over a year since my last post.
A lot has gone on that may be worth a post here and there but the reality of it is that were I to sit and write a post then, I would have missed out on the "now" that was happening around me.
I have looked at my blog several times over the past 6 months since being back home in my host country and have wondered how and where to begin. 

The question begs itself, "Why do I blog?"
I don't write like my sisters and friends. I have no idea how to put up links. My grammar and spelling are only as good as the grade I am teaching. I know, without a shadow of doubt in my mind, that I have no profound thought.  I am a learner with more to learn than I have already learned (and no not just in language study). I am a struggling mother and wife with very few victories that would be worth putting down for the general public to read. 

So, why blog?
Because everyone is.
Just kidding! =0) (see I don't even know how to include emoticons).

I blog as an outlet. 
I blog to have a place to post pictures of life for my family and friends to see.
I blog because sometimes I would like to be good at writing with ideas in my head that never come out right in type but at least I can try.
I blog because it lets me let out some of the joys, trials, absurdities, and experiences that I get to have raising two unique kids in a complex world between worlds. I get to express myself with a finished product.  
I blog because it's fun!

Life is busy and complicated here. But hopefully I will find the time to sit and write once a week.
I'm so thankful to the Lord for the chance to share this journey and hopeful be an encouragement and find some myself in the midst of it all.


from Edges of His Ways, Amy Carmichael

Before the winds that blow do cease, 
Teach me to Dwell within Thy calm;
Before the pain has passed in peace,
Give me, my God, to sing a psalm,
Let me not lose the chance to prove
The fulness of enabling love.
O Love of God, do this for me;
Maintain a constant victory.

Before I leave the desert land
For meadows of immortal flowers, 
Lead me where streams at Thy command
Flow by the borders of the hours, 
That when the thirsty come, I may
Show them the fountains in the way.
O Love of God, do this for me;
Maintain a constant victory.

m