A Husband Like You

All day I have been celebrating in my heart the 64 years of marriage my grandparents celebrate today. It's days like today that make living overseas more difficult than the average day. However, it's people like my grandparents and parents that make living overseas the very place I know I should be. The testimony of their lives, their faithfulness to the Lord, and their love and care and discipleship of my heart are a large part of why I am even here today. Even through separation is hard, I know they are glad I'm here and not there with them! They want me to be where the Lord has called us.

As I celebrated this marker of 64 years, thinking on the goodness of the Lord, his faithful watch care and protection, his abundant provision, his constant leading and guidance, his ever presence with them, I thought too on the hardships that are being journeyed through. Old age isn't easy! I thought on the faithful love my grandparents have, of the way they gently care each day for one another. It made me ask, "Will I make it that long? Do I have what it takes to stay faithful?"

Today was the first day I compared my grandpa to my husband. Although Walt would never even attempt to feign genius (Grandpa cannot claim that), the two men are well read and always reading further. The two of them are extremely humble. They both love those who are yet in God's kingdom, so much they would lay down their lives for them. Both Grandpa and Walt are incredibly thankful people. I have been married only 11 years now but I can't remember a time when Walt complained. But for both of them it isn't just the absence of complaints, it is the presence of thanksgiving. Both are ready, in every season, to give thanks to the Lord because both have an unwavering belief in the goodness of the Father.

As I thought further, I realized this same trait of thankfulness lies in the heart of my dad too, always having us pause to thank the Lord or to recognize his goodness, even in the midst of incredibly trying times. As God continues to refine our family we still see  Grandpa always leading us back to thanksgiving, so does my Dad, and so does Walt! As we walk difficult days with sickness, heartbreak, separations, and unexpected "speed bumps", all three of these men in my life continue to bring us repeatedly to that foundational truth: God is good, therefore we praise him.

So although I may evaluate my faith and the state of my heart and honestly ask the question, "Will I still be giving thanks at 64 years?" I look at the husband God has given me and praise God for the godly traits in him that I have watched in my Dad and in my Grandpa and I am THANKFUL for his faith and his unwavering belief in the goodness of our Father.

Today I celebrate my Grandparents. Today I celebrate my parents. Today I celebrate my husband.

Today we celebrate the goodness of God!

Grandpa, I never realized I got what I always wanted: a husband like you!
Grandma, maybe one day I'll be the wife you are!

Happy 64th!!! I love you both deeply!

m

I will... Will you?

"I will have many stories for you when we meet."

Was our young friend mis-speaking, referring of the adventures he had encountered in the recent trip to Africa?
Or rather is he a young theologian, anticipating what William Carey had preached years before, "Expect great things from God. Attempt great things for God."

God's grace is matchless, mysterious, life giving and hope bringing reality for those who are in Christ.  Because of God's past grace, we look to the future and can say like this 13 year old, "I WILL have many stories..." Knowing that the grace of God will continue to be at work in us, we will have stories of God's victory in our life. Believing that God's grace is abounding in the lives of people around us, we can expect to have many stories of his powerful work in others.  God's matchless grace leaves us filled with hope and expectation. Even as we walk through valleys of deep darkness, we have stories of God's grace, presence, provision and love. As we walk beside waters of quiet rest, we have stories of his grace filling us and feeding and sustaining us. Evidences of the work of God are all around us, we just need the eyes to see him at work and have a heart that is expecting him to work as we attempt to follow him whole-heartedly.

I will have many stories for you, next time we meet. Why? Because my God doesn't change like everyone and everything else does. Why? Because God has good plans and a future. Why? Because by his grace, I can see his grace and give him praise for he is good. I most definitely WILL have stories the next time we meet because I am eagerly looking for God at work and am expectant of answered prayer.

What is your expectation for next time we meet? Will you have stories?


on the look out for evidences of his grace,

m

inSIGNIFICANT

 The world says,
"know yourself"
"do something meaningful"
"achieve happiness"
"avoid pain"
"find peace"
"take"
"find your significance"


The hawks circled, dogs raced, crows cawed at a spot in the sand.
We ran to the rescue. We were just in time to watch 99 baby turtles crawl up out of the sand from a hole feet below the surface. Sometimes just one would poke his head through the sand, struggling to reach the top. Other times two or three would push through together.
Months earlier, in the middle of the night, a mother turtle had returned to her hatching place to lay her own nest of eggs.  Sometimes over 100 eggs lay under the sand about two feet down, waiting for the time when the tide is high and they hatch, crawling to the surface and straight into the ocean, swimming off until the day some of them will return once again to land to lay eggs.
These little baby turtles are completely helpless. Yet they have been given the instinct to climb to the surface, crawl to the shore and swim off, no one caring for them, no one teaching them. They are small, so very small. They are seemingly insignificant, seemingly unremarkable.
Yet God displays his intricate design and involvement in these little insignificant creatures lives. He grants them the air to reach the surface from feet below. He grants them the timing to typically hatch at high tide. He's given them the ability to immediately swim off into the ocean. They are carefully designed, yet seemingly insignificant.

"Find your significance."

When presented with creatures like baby turtles, I can't help but ponder my very own existence. I was made to glorify God and enjoy him forever. If these baby turtles confirm the immense and intimate involvement of the Father in his creation, what about my life?  These creatures are without a personal relationship to the Father yet they have such careful design and beauty. How much more you and I?

For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;
my soul know it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,  

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

We too have been given by God the ability to live within his perfect design. We have been created for a significance found in Christ. Though we are also weak and relatively insignificant, yet we have a role in history. God has chosen to reveal himself and the gospel through weak, broken, and sinful children he has called to be his own.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:5-11

God's design gives meaning and significance to every life. Even on the most unremarkable of days, we should stop and remember that God's sovereign plan, his purposes, and his intricate design are being fulfilled. We have been saved, made righteous reconciled and called to this ministry of reconciliation.
In Christ we have purpose.
The Father has called us to "go and make disciples."
He has told us to "abide in me."
He has commanded us to, "deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow."
He has invited us to fellowship, communion, freedom, and eternal life.
God, in Christ, has given us significance.

God's Word says,
Know the Father.
Fulfill his meaning for your life.
At his right hand is pleasure.
Deny yourself.
Trust God, he is your peace.
Give generously without expecting to be paid in return.
Christ is your significance.


Sometimes it takes seeing something small to recognize just how small we are.
Sometimes it takes seeing something seemingly insignificant to realize how significant God really is.
Sometimes it takes acknowledging the Craftsman to recognize the meaning and purpose of the craft.
Sometimes, amidst the seemingly unremarkable, we are reminded what is truly remarkable: the gospel.

Let his design amaze you.
Let his design control you.
His design is perfect.

designed by God and for God,
m

Beasts of Burden

Coming home from a weekend with friends we took the following pictures of loads being carried along the road.  Enjoy a taste of the burdens we sometimes get to witness:

 

The loads being carried were varied.

The modes of transport diverse.

From motorcycles turned into wagons, to Suzukis loaded down with men, 

Each one is carrying a burden.

Moving crops, herds, or people.

Loaded to one side, about to fall, or perfectly balanced on a head.

Burdens carried from place to place.

Loads transferred from here to there.

From trucks fully loaded to donkey carts staggering under the weight

The loads are obvious.

Their weight unmistakeable.

And for you and me?

...Our loads being carried may vary.

The mode of transport the same.

Hearts entangled in the sin that clings, minds enslaved to thoughts unseen.

Each one is carrying a burden, 

Though the load may not be obvious.

Loaded down in unbelief, in loneliness, in worry, in anger, or disappointment.

Burdens we carry but are out of place.

We've been set free from sin, released to live.

In Christ I am truly free.

Called to run this race, looking to Jesus who endured the cross.

I'm set free to truly love, forgive, serve, give grace, compassion and kindness, patience and endurance. 

Freedom.

Running hard.

Burden free.

Weightless.

Freedom.

Joy.

  Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

No longer a "beast of burden" but set free from slavery to freedom in Christ, 

m

Undeserving Part 1

Our family has been hit pretty hard by some painful experiences in the last couple of months.
We spent over 6 weeks in the States and have now been back home for just about a month. While in the States I wrote about how we were working through this painful time.

Here's what I journaled while there:
Our family has been hit by trial.
As we work through this painful time and are caused to walk by faith and not by sight, we are continually amazed by the gracious and kind hand of our father. Daily he surprises us with his grace, comforts us through his presence, and draws us ever nearer to him as we rest in him for our everything. 
Tonight we are spending the night in a hotel. Once we reached the hotel Walt said to me, "Go run, I'll take Thomas to the pool."
Go for a run. That use to be what my mom would say to me in high school. Now, 11 years into this marriage thing it's Walt recognizing that a run can bring me so much life, refreshment and perspective. 

As I ran through the quiet neighborhood streets, leaves around me changing color, people working in their immaculate lawns, and preparing for the fall season, my heart, from years of habit, went directly to prayer, unloading my burdens at the foot of the cross and enjoying still minutes of uninterrupted intercession. Half way into my run my heart was struck with the word, "undeserving. " Over and over it played through my mind and soul, "undeserving… undeserving." Here we are in the middle of  heart break yet every day he brings new and fresh praise to our mouths and makes us amazed by the gracious, gentle, and perfect love of the Father. His presence is so real. His love so tangible. His grace so immense and overwhelming, overwhelming to the point where we can describe our situation, as tragic as it may be, as undeserving.  

Today I was especially struck by the incredible provision of friends that he has given me. For the past 25 years I have moved around a lot and yet even now I have friends that are faithfully praying for me and loving me and not just in one small town somewhere but but all over the world and all across America. Saturday I talk with a friend from Oregon, Sunday I met us with a friend from Alabama and I have been receiving emails from all over the globe. Not only words of encouragement reach our ears but we know the power of the intercession being prayed on our behalf.  
I have done nothing in my life to deserve this.
I am undeserving.

Oh how thankful I am that there is nothing I have done to make him love me less and there is nothing I can do to make him love me more. But in his perfect love he continues to love and love and give and give. He gives so much that even in the midst of the hurt, I can't help but praise the Lord for all that he is to me, undeserving as I am. I can't help but praise him for his miraculous intervention in the little details of my every day.  How great is our God!

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Stuart Townend Copyright © 1995 Thankyou Music 

Amazed by his love, 

m

Imperfections

When I visit the beach my goal is to find the most complete and flawless shells.  When I see holes, cracks, or chips I usually let the shell continue to lay on the sand for the next passerby. 
Thomas, doesn't have this prejudice. I don't know if he is searching for a color, a shape, or type of shell.  He just combs the beach, randomly taking from it's treasures the shells I would typically leave behind.

As we went for a hike a couple weeks ago I had my camera ready for beautiful picture opportunities, whether it was people, animals or nature.  I just wanted whatever I could find that was "beautiful." 

Then I past by this flower:

It caught my eye because it stood alone, stark contrast of yellow against the green background. It almost shone all alone. I walked over to it take a picture.

As I bent over I noticed the missing petals. 

"Great," I thought, "Another chance for a gorgeous pic ruined since it isn't whole."

I walked away, not taking the picture.

My mind wandered to the chipped shells, the missing petals, broken. 

This flower suddenly looked a lot like me.

Broken.

Imperfect.

Weathered.

Flawed.

But just as this flower had stood out all alone in it's surroundings, I too, though full of imperfections, am to stand out, like city on a hill or a lamp on a stand.  Why? So that glory might be given to perfect Father in heaven. Not so people see me or think me perfect, whole and flawless. 

I backtracked and took a quick photo. 

This flawed flower was made by my Almighty Creator to give his praise.

I am this broken vessel that the praise might go to my Creator as his power works through this imperfect life. 

In Christ, I become whole. 

In Christ, what is broken is healed.

In Christ, what is imperfect will one day be perfected.

In Christ, I am being made beautiful.

In Christ, I stand to shine for his glory.

Flawed? Yes.

Imperfect? Absolutely.

But each day in Christ I am becoming more and more like Him.

There is hope.

Hope for the perfect.

Hope for wholeness.

Hope.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13

Hoping in the God of hope, 

m

O To Be Found!

I lost Thomas.
We miscommunicated.
I stopped. He kept walking.
I turned round and found everyone but him.
My heart stopped. My soul raced to the Savior. My mouth moved.
"Where's my son?"
Louder, "Where did my son go?"
Culturally inappropriate?  I don't know. I only knew I had lost my son.
"There." "He is standing there."  "He went on that way."
My mind racing, "Do they know? Should I leave this spot? Do I go right or left?"

A boy the size of Thomas but probably close to 15 years old pointed.  He was standing up on a step so he could see further than I. "He's there."

I think I may have ran.
I know I shouted.

There he was, face as white as his little face can go.  Looking left. Looking right. Looking down the alley behind and in front.  He was terrified.

"We'll cry when we get home." We decided.  "But we can thank the Lord now."
We did.  Walking through the mass of black burqa's and chadors (large cloth I wear covering my head and much of my body).

"All I could see was black women everywhere," he said, "I didn't know which one was you."

I think I should buy a bright, sky blue chador to wear next time we are in the masses of black together.

A day later I am still thanking the Lord for his safety.
We have said "thank you" to the Lord over and over.
The story, when re-told to dad, grew in proportions!
We have looked at each other and said we love one another.
We have talked about the reality that Mom won't always be there, but the Lord will.
How glorious the feeling is to be found!  How good it is to be together!

Isn't that how it is with the Lord?  The moment we realize that we are lost, that's when we can be found.  When, in God's incomparable grace, he reveals to the depths of our hearts the horrible, death-saturated understanding that we are lost and that then leads us to the greatest, most life changing news; through Jesus, we can be found.  Just like the Prodigal Son, we must return to the feet of the Father, where we belong.  How good it is to know that we who were lost can be found.
Hallelujah, I am found!!!

Rembrant, "The Return of the Prodigal Son"

m

HE HAS DONE ALL THINGS WELL

Because of lack of sleep, many hours of language study, visitors in and out constantly, homeschool and all the normal every day task of a wife and mother, the days have been a little wearisome.
Today during family devotions my application was to remind myself on an hourly basis that, "He has done all things well." (Mark 7: 37b)
This is what I need more than anything right now; just to step back from all the things that need to happen and see how wonderful and how magnificent Jesus is. 

Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name.

For he has done great things!!!

Some old pics of some of his little creatures that remind me of how he has done all things well!!!

Praise him for doing all things well, 

m