Sick Day

My little guy is sick.
He has moped about for the past couple of days.
He has complained off and on of a head ache.
Life changes so quickly.
One moment you are wondering what you are going to do next with the energetic, rambunctious, pushing the envelope character your little boy has and the next you wonder what you will do without it.

With Thomas there is no question whether he is sick or not.  He only ever stops for two things in life: to sleep and to be sick.  The rest of life he is in full motion, full go, full enthusiasm.

I hate to see him this way.
I hate that there are days I have complained to the Lord about the energy he has.

God gives us each different strengths/weaknesses.
How I pray that one day all the energy, enthusiasm, love of life that comes so naturally to him will one day all be used towards the building of God's kingdom and not his own.  How I pray that I would grow into the mother God has called me to be that can help channel Thomas in that direction.

For now I will sit beside him in bed, books in a pile ready to be read when he wakes up.

I will continue to lay my hands on his body and ask my Jehovah Rapha to heal my baby by his grace and power.
I will give thanks in all circumstances knowing that that is God's will for me in Christ.

Thankful for my unique, precious, God-given children,
m

Bliss' 19th!!!

Praise God for our wonderful daughter!
It is hard to believe how fast the past years have gone by and that college is just around the corner.
At least I got one more year of making special breakfast, cake and... Pizza Hut, the dinner of choice!
What a blessing God has chosen to give us!

Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1b

1 Week: What will I Miss?

Top Ten:

1. my friends and co laborers

2. the sounds

3. the friendliness

4. the openness to talk about serious things

5. the familiar

6. the pace of life

7. my squatty potty

8. the colorfulness/uniqueness of life (no one thing is ever uniform... not even uniforms!)

9. diet pepsi at a price I can afford to drink 2 litres a day if desired

10. my home (not house but home)

m

Sincere and Commissioned

This morning in family devo's we read:

“ But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and though us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? For we are not, like so many, peddlers of God's word, but as men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ.” 2 Corinthians 2:14-17

It's easy to criticize others. For me this seems to come naturally. It's an instinct I continue to fight and long to have victory over. I was hit in a fresh way with these truths that we are all insufficient on our own but in Christ, for God's glory, we become sufficient. My over critical attitude and quick judgement leaves no room for the grace of God. If God has said we are insufficient but he will use us, who am I to condemn, judge, or accuse others of not being sufficient? God changes all because of his immeasurable, incomparable grace. How glorious is the grace that has been given to me. Would I dare to keep that from my fellow laborers, fellow brothers and sisters, co-heirs with Christ?

I easily forget that I too am insufficient for these things. The person I judge the quickest is my own husband. As I read this verse I was struck to the heart. The words, “men of sincerity, as commissioned by God, in the sight of God we speak in Christ” describe Walt. There is no one I know with the same level of sincerity and eagerness to see the Christ spoken of. Yet I fail to give grace in weakness. God has commissioned Walt. He has placed in his heart sincerity and for this I should rejoice. I am guilty of impatience, love that fails, and a spirit of judgement and condemnation. Today I have been reminded of 2 things:

1.Walt is insufficient. So am I, therefore, I must be a person of grace, love and truth.

2. God has commissioned Walt and he is a man of sincerity.

I am so thankful for my husband.

I am so proud to say he is a sincere man.

I am so glad God has commissioned him.

I praise God for his grace,

m

2 Weeks: What will I do before I leave?

Top Ten:

1. enjoy last days with fellow partners and friends, praising God for each one and the way he has used them over the past 1.5 years.

2. spend quality time with SMcC, my super best friend this side of the Indus! (technically her side of the Indus)  =0) 

3. hold "Izzy's" face in my hands, look in her eyes, and call her once more to choose Jesus.

4. give away whatever I haven't used over the last 3 years.

5. cover my toilets with heavy metal covers... heavy enough hopefully to keep the rats out.

6. put everything I own in cupboards, metal trunks or whatever other containers I can find. 

7. leave it to Jesus, the souls, the lost, the saved, just leave it in the all-powerful, all-able hands of God.

8. teach my son to stop picking his nose

9. burn my last candle

10. NOT take a language test!!!!

I am going to make myself cry writing this.

Leaving isn't easy.

I am home.

I am leaving home.

I will make home where ever He takes me, but for now, I'm here and this is my home.

m

If Only...

If only I had the nerve to take pictures.
I would never fail to have a blog for posting!!!

Today, however, my camera with me, it was a good thing I don't have the nerve.
Here's Why:
I went to the doctor with my very close friend today.  She had a cyst that needed removal.
We reached the hospital at 2pm.  The doctor was suppose to be there.
Somewhere around 2:45 he sauntered in. Not bad. Only 45 minutes late. This is going well.
He walked passed us and up the stairs to see to who knows what or whom.
About 20 minutes later he returned. Not bad.
We were second in line.
He checked her out, gave his diagnosis and said the surgery could be done now.
Great!!!
He wrote a list.
What? A list? For what?
We went and bought the items on the list:
Everything needed for the surgery... that's right, right down to the thread for the stitches.
Things are a little different here.
The surgery was quick and painful.
But not so quick that they didn't have time to come out to the hallway where we were waiting and show us what they had removed.
Let me rephrase: On a piece of paper, held in an ungloved hand, a pile of gunk, the stuff they had just removed from my friend moments before.
Yuck! Seriously?!? Aren't you glad I didn't take a picture.
I hope he didn't see the horror/laughter quickly welling up inside me.
I'm not sure why this happened.
It will be a great language learning topic for the coming week:  Is surgery always SHOW and tell?

I love it here.  I really, really love it here.

Pray my friend would get better quick and be safe from infection.

I'm lovin' it,

m

Ten Things to Hold On To From the Last 3+ Years

Things I have learned over the past 3+ years are innumerable. Most would take a book long story to explain but here are the top 10 for today!

1. God redeems transition
   Transition after transition, loss after loss, move after move, language after language, house to house, city to city, country to country, supervisor to supervisor, and on and on and on. The years are marked not by birthdays or anniversaries but by which country we were living! We really have only had the Lord and each other as steady entities in our life.
   God doesn't change, not ever, but he is in the work of transforming his children from one degree of glory to another. All the changes and losses we have felt and experienced have been for our good, to make us more like Christ. He has work for us to be part of in each place. He has blessed us with friends and leaders. He has helped us to love each place more than the next. The transitions have taught us not to strive against God's work in our lives but to submit and be conformed to his likeness more and more. Transition doesn't get easier the more you do it. But the thing that does increase is the ability to search and see how God has worked through each one. I am thankful that God has used the transition in each of our lives to only increase our need for God's consistency.
2. Let it go.
   I think my husband would define me as a fighter, and with him I usually am. However, the years overseas have worn some of that less desirable character off. Just letting things go comes a lot more easy to me than it did 3 years ago. Whether it's issues of differences in ministry, family life, or being charged too much because I'm a foreigner, if it's not a salvation issue (and I must say, it most usually is not), why not just let it go. Life goes on, we learn, we adapt, we grow by being around people who do things differently than us. I have more room in my life for “just letting it go” but praise the Lord that some of that He has chipped away at and the temper that once was is waining, only by his grace. Only by his grace.
3. Love God, love people
   People just want to be loved. To love people, I have got to be loving God. It is only by his love outpoured in me that I can love those around me. How can I love the filthy, the sick, the broken, the accuser, the liar, the betrayer, the thief? I can't. On my own I can't. Only by loving God will I love others. People just want to be loved. To love well. I long to love well. I long to be like Jesus, willing to touch the leper, entrust myself to the betrayer, restore the liar and deserter, to see the broken and bring healing, to see the slave and set them free. O to be like Jesus. O to love like Jesus. I must continue to learn what it means to love God, to love others.
4. People are just people
   No matter where you are, what your language, citizenship, skin color, height, or weight, people are just people. There doesn't need to be “us” and “them.” No. There is just “us.” Sinners in need of a savior. So, whether I'm here with people mostly a differing race, tongue, and culture, or whether I am surrounded by people who look like me, speak and act similar to me, we are just with people, all with the same need. We all need Jesus. Either we need to hear about him for the first time, or we need to be strengthened in our faith to know him more. Whichever it is, we need Jesus. People are just people.
5. Brokenness does not equal uselessness
   Laying face down on the cold floor, I have shed many tears over the sin in my own life and over pain and hurt that has surrounding me. Lifting myself out of bed some days has only happened because I have a husband that would drive me out of bed if I didn't. Studying language on the verge of tears, day after day, I have been broken. Broken for what? For discipline. Yes. That He might heal me. Yes. My life has been marked by the words of the Psalmist: If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. (Psalm 119:92)
6. Forget judgement and move on with it
   Cultures differ. World-views are lightyears apart. In one country the common couple discussion is, “should we both work to keep up our lifestyle?” and in another, “should we feed just the boys today or do we have enough to feed our near starved daughter as well?” Am I above all others that I get to sit on a seat of judgement and blame people for where they are in life? How freeing it is to just move away from judgement, recognize that for each their problems are real to them and serious issues they must decide. I get to see differences and love my God for his diversity, rather than be bogged down with despising people for thinking on things I can't comprehend. I get to be moved with compassion for the hurting and suffering. I get to stir the hearts of the wealthy and comfortable. What a unique place God has given me. How I long to not live in judgement of what I might deem “trivial problems” of the West but that I would learn how to steer peoples thoughts toward Kingdom work and lasting investment. God help me!How I long to not judge the woman having her sixth cesarean, endangering her life and the future of her living 5 girls at home, just in the hopes that this child might be the long awaited boy. God help me!
7. Enjoy the “interruptions”
   I love to plan. No, really, I LOVE to plan. Each week I make a calendar and hang it in front of my desk. I use a different color pen for each person. I love knowing in advance what is going to happen. Life just doesn't work that way. How much freedom I find when able to thank the Lord for the “interruptions” that come in the day instead of get uptight and irritated. Lately I have taken the example of a friend and try to commit those interruptions to the Lord and ask for his help to see them as opportunities instead. It's amazing how an interruption can turn itself on head when my heart has a different attitude and perspective.
8. It's for my good
   From mundane things like the scorching heat to serious issues I have had to face in life over the passed 3+ years, the comfort I remind myself of on almost a daily basis is: This is for my good. God is working for me good. Never to hurt me, maybe to discipline me. Never to leave be despairing, maybe to make me trust him more. All he does for me is for my good. What an incredibly freeing truth.
9. I'm old and language learning is hard!!!
   Two languages semi learned has left me tired of language learning. Some days I just want to throw in the towel. Then with-in days of each other this happens: I sit on the park bench and talk for an hour with a stranger I have just met... share the good news in her language (Language #1). A group of women are sitting on the grass outside the hospital waiting for the safe arrival of a new baby. I get to know them... share the good news (Language #2). Knowing their language instead of just mine has opened the door in ways nothing else could have. Nothing has been lost but all the hours of study completed and those that are to come... they are all worth it! PTL!!!
10. All for his glory
    Any other reason for living here is insane! But because of his purpose and his plan, God makes it possible to live here, love it here, and look forward to as many years as God will give. It's all for his glory.
    
    
    What have you learned over the past 3+ years? Have you changed?
    
    hoping I been changed,
    m