"Haves" and "Have Nots"

"Papperay, " the musical call comes from beyond our outer gate.
"Can I have 10 rupees, mom? I will pay you back!" (famous last words but that is another blog post).
Thomas hurried out the gate, running after the young man carrying a bag of pappery, a deep fried treat sprinkled with spicy masala, 10 cents of deliciousness.
I can't help but smile to myself as I hear him talking to neighbors and friends in broken Urdu.

"The grass is always greener on the other side," comes to mind as I watch him happily devour one of Pakistans many deep fried snacks, thinking in my mind of all the wonderful things he gets to experience here, "No, the grass is so much greener on my side!"

Or is it?

Being content where God has me is so crucial to our ability to live and love this place and these people. The list of "haves" is so much longer than the "have-nots."But that doesn't mean I don't have to fight sometimes missing the things we no longer have since we live here.
The main "have-not" that creeps in and sometimes clouds my ability to see the "haves" is just the opportunities that I know Thomas would have if he was back in States. The list writes itself with such speed in my mind that my fingers couldn't type fast enough to keep up (embarrassing to confess but true!).
But what do we have here instead of those things?
And is it what we have now that replaces what we have chosen to let go?
Or is trying to minimize the loss and replace it with a new list of "have's" the very foundation of the folly of my thinking?
I could list off to you the things we have that perhaps you don't.  But that isn't what gives our life here value or meaning or makes the sacrifice less.

Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11-13,

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Here we see the secret to conquering that quiet besetting sin that deceitfully creeps up within our hearts, catching us off guard: discontentment rooted in unbelief. It rears it's ugly head when we compare our lives with others, when we focus on what is seen, when we trust our wisdom, and when we walk in unbelief. Paul shows us that when we believe the promise that God will supply all our needs and walk in thankfulness, rejoicing in the Lord, trusting his goodness and love for us, we will say with Paul, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Being content displays trust in the Father's perfect provision. Not only that, Paul states, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." This implies that when walking in faith, trusting his provision, we can face whatever circumstance he gives to us, believing it is of the Father's good pleasure that we walk through it. 

So, where ever you are, whatever you have/don't have, remember to believe his goodness and unmeasurable love towards you. Look at that unavoidable inconvenience he has brought to you, or the trying relationship you are in, or the  unexpected grief or pain you are experiencing in light of the knowledge that 

"my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." 20 To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen."

With God's help we too can walk as Paul did and as Christ did, trusting the almighty Father, being content in every circumstance, giving thanks to the Father through the Lord Jesus Christ, for the glory of God forever!!!

Learning to be content as I learn to trust him in every circumstance, 

m

My Favorite Place

We took a few days of rest at the beach only a couple hours away from our home here.
We are so blessed to have places like this right here, in country, to just be able to relax, get away from electricity, phones, internet etc.

As we were enjoying our time together with a friend, over a lunch of Thai curry, she asked Thomas where his favorite place to go was.
After a moment or two he answered, "Hyderabad and the Cockroach (the nickname for a restaurant up in Murree)."

This is the doing of our Father, that he has given my son a love for this country. He has experienced so many places and the blessings that each one affords, yet his heart is at home when he is here, right where God has called us to be.

I am so thankful to our Father for giving Thomas this love and contentment for right here. What a wonderful reminder to us to be happy right where God has placed us, not looking to somewhere else, or someone else's life, house, family, job, education, or experiences.  God knows what he is doing and he is working for our good always, that we might become more and more like Jesus.

"Happy are the children whose God is the LORD."

4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 Andthe peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Philippians 4: 4-8

Thankful,
m

TCK (Third Culture Kid) Conundrum

As we walked through a small group of boys similar in size to Thomas they began to discuss us. This we understood from what they said among themselves and their unabashed stares. As we passed, they began to follow us.

Strange noises began, first one boy, then another and another, followed by laughs.

"They are trying to imitate the way our English sounds to them," I explained in response to Thomas' perplexed look up at me. 

Their "English conversation" continued till we stopped to buy bananas and they continued on, just 5 paces ahead.  There, they too, paused to watch us make our purchase.  

This time when we passed, I greeted them in their language. Smiled. 

They stopped. 

Following us and pretending to speak English lost it's intrigue when now they could run home and tell their family that the ungrez (foreigner) had spoken to them in their own language.

Thomas seemed agitated.

"I'm tired of being a Pakistani in America and an American when I'm in Pakistan," he complained.

I put my arm on his shoulder. How insightful. How true.

"I know it's hard." I sympathized, knowing my own struggles as a TCK, "That's why it's not our goal to be "American" or "Pakistani" but to be like Jesus."

Thomas is only just beginning the long, challenging and blessed road of a TCK.

My prayer is he will learn to love Jesus, be like Jesus, and bring others to Jesus as he moves in and out of one culture to the next, never really knowing jut one deeply as his own but many.  May this deepen the security that Jesus is his identity regardless of language, color, customs, and location.

wanting to be like Christ, 

m

Thomas with some of his friends outside on our street.

Lately Thomas' coloring usually includes brown bodies with blonde hair…hmmm?!?

Thankful for Dirt?

Thankfulness seems to be a lot about perspective.

We recently flew back across the Atlantic "home" to Pakistan.
Several times throughout the journey I teared up, knowing I was leaving my daughter back in the States and moving back to life without libraries, clean and priced shopping, parks with open wide spaces to run in without anyone ever staring (except me, my husband or my son who have adopted this South Asian habit the of unabashed stare) etc.

Thomas, our son, however, saw our landing in the dirty, dusty city of over 17 million (maybe closer to 20 million) people in a very different light.
As we walked up the ramp from the airplane into the airport we were hit by, what I would describe, a warm blast of VERY dusty air.  Thomas took a deep, loud breath in, "Yup, it smells like Pakistan.  Dusty. I love it here!"
"Hmmm" I thought.  "Really?"
30 minutes later as we sat in the car headed to Hyderabad he continued his thankfulness, "The air in America is so wet (I would chosen the words fresh, clean, etc).  I like the air here so much better.  It's so, well, dusty.  Mom, what vitamins are in dirt?"
Really?  We know we need to get our daily dose of vitamin D. But no, this is not D for Dirt.
Vitamins in dirt?

I may not be thankful for the dusty air but I certainly am thankful for my son who has a heart of love for this nation and it's people and culture and even the dirt.
What a gift it is to have a happy and content child!
What a gift the Lord has given to his heart to be thankful for the very things that others despise. May God use him for his glory and the expansion of his kingdom.

We are so glad to be home.

thankful,
m

Is "Belonging" Everything, Something, or Nothing

As I rode home today in a rickshaw with my son, my dupatta (head scarf) blowing in the wind, giving directions first in one language than a second and neither of them my first, and with the music blaring from the speakers behind me, the thought entered my mind in full force, "I don't belong here.  But where do I belong?"  
I mostly felt this way because I realized that the blaring music turned no one's head.  No one cares here about "noise pollution." There is no thought to whether others will like your loud music or not, whether it's driving down the street or at 3am at a wedding held out on your street. My noise, is your noise and visa versa. Live with it.
For me, the blaring music was embarrassing, aggravating, and annoying.  Why? Because I don't belong. My worldview is different.  My thoughts were, "Our noise is going to make everyone look in this direction and there really is no need for encouragement of others to stare at me." I just don't belong.

For me, not belonging has been part of who I am from as far back as I can remember.
First, I was a PK. "Pastor's Kids" just aren't like everyone else.  People had a different expectation and outlook on who I was suppose to be.  Let the reader not read, "who I was."
From this I went to being a TCK. Third Culture Kids end up with a culture that is cannot be defined by race, language, country of origin, nor host country.
I am a "boarding kid," attending boarding school from the age of 8.
I married into a family from the South, yet another culture.
We then became parents of an almost 12 year old just after our second wedding anniversary which makes me the mother of a college sophomore this year at 33 years old.
Belong?

But what does it mean to "belong?"  So many people are looking to figure this out, to find their place in this world.  Lives are consumed with people looking for self actualization and finding the meaning of life, pursuing whatever it means for you to be you at your full potential and for you to belong in the community which provides you the praise and security you crave. 

But is this what we were made for? 
To belong, when it is terms of the world, is only temporary. Temporarily it will leave us feeling welcomed, accepted, and free to be "ourselves" in reaching our full potential.

But again I ask, is this what we were made for?
Why did God make us?
If I ask my 9 year old he will sing to me, "To glorify God and enjoy him forever."
So, is belonging in this world why I am here?
Is feeling accepted, that I belong, and am a unique or normal individual (whichever one I crave) necessary for true "self actualization?"
How will I reach my full potential?  By being safe, well-feed, in a stable environment of love and feelings of belonging?  
Those things are good but the truth is that I was made by God, for God and through peace with God and walking in his will, I will belong; not to this world but to an everlasting kingdom.  

I don't have to fit in or standout in order to belong.  
I already belong. 
I belong to Jesus.
Belonging is EVERYTHING when it's about belonging to the Kingdom of God!
How thankful I am to be part of the Kingdom of God! 

m

O To Be Found!

I lost Thomas.
We miscommunicated.
I stopped. He kept walking.
I turned round and found everyone but him.
My heart stopped. My soul raced to the Savior. My mouth moved.
"Where's my son?"
Louder, "Where did my son go?"
Culturally inappropriate?  I don't know. I only knew I had lost my son.
"There." "He is standing there."  "He went on that way."
My mind racing, "Do they know? Should I leave this spot? Do I go right or left?"

A boy the size of Thomas but probably close to 15 years old pointed.  He was standing up on a step so he could see further than I. "He's there."

I think I may have ran.
I know I shouted.

There he was, face as white as his little face can go.  Looking left. Looking right. Looking down the alley behind and in front.  He was terrified.

"We'll cry when we get home." We decided.  "But we can thank the Lord now."
We did.  Walking through the mass of black burqa's and chadors (large cloth I wear covering my head and much of my body).

"All I could see was black women everywhere," he said, "I didn't know which one was you."

I think I should buy a bright, sky blue chador to wear next time we are in the masses of black together.

A day later I am still thanking the Lord for his safety.
We have said "thank you" to the Lord over and over.
The story, when re-told to dad, grew in proportions!
We have looked at each other and said we love one another.
We have talked about the reality that Mom won't always be there, but the Lord will.
How glorious the feeling is to be found!  How good it is to be together!

Isn't that how it is with the Lord?  The moment we realize that we are lost, that's when we can be found.  When, in God's incomparable grace, he reveals to the depths of our hearts the horrible, death-saturated understanding that we are lost and that then leads us to the greatest, most life changing news; through Jesus, we can be found.  Just like the Prodigal Son, we must return to the feet of the Father, where we belong.  How good it is to know that we who were lost can be found.
Hallelujah, I am found!!!

Rembrant, "The Return of the Prodigal Son"

m

Thomas' First Prize

T entered the Eid Card competition at school for Eid several weeks ago.
He won.

The best part is his little hand drawn picture inside the card.

Did your 7 year old ever draw a little boy with a "cute" goat and knife in hand ready to slaughter?
Mine did and I'm not concerned!
 
Some things are just different for us here.
m

Traffic Police

One of the ways I am continually reminded that I am raising children in another culture and they inadvertently are creating a new culture of their own (hence: "Third Culture Kids" TCK's) is when I watch my little guy play.  When he plays with other TCK's they visit places that kiddo's would never go, "My car is going to the Taj Mahal."  or instead of "school" like most first graders play it's, "let's ride in the airplane" and hours of an airplane journey.
The latest reminder was when Thomas lined his toys up on my kitchen counter as I prepared lunch.  They looked like this:

Then he said, "Look mom!  It's the traffic police!"  
What?  Has your kid ever called the local roaming animals in your neighborhood traffic police?  O... you don't have roaming cows, buffalo, donkeys, goats, chickens, dogs, etc?  Well, we do!!! And the traffic graciously gives way every time.  


Life is just different here.
My son sees things differently.  
Not better, not worse... just different.
I love different.
Praise God for creating different.
May Christ in me make me "different." 
Because of Christ may other's want to be different too.


Always been a little different, 
m

"Typical" Scenes Around the House

Tonight I realized how funny our life must look to the outsider.
When I came out of the kitchen after washing up from dinner this is what I found my children doing.


Exhibit A: 
This is school for Bliss.  Four nights a week she attends live classes at 9am EST.  So this is her evening activity.  To someone on the outside she might look anti-social and withdrawn but this thought is quickly dashed when you hear her laugh aloud, answer questions, ask questions and engage with the other students and teachers, even if she can't see them

Exhibit B: 

The noises escaping this one's mouth is what surprised me.  He had taken my recorder from Sindhi language learning and was multi-tasking, loudly repeating the phrases in a foreign tongue while burning a little extra energy.  I think he was copying his parents, only we do it to burn fat and get more energy!!!

What a blessing it is to have such beautiful, resilient children who go with the flow and adapt to life so well, even if they do appear a little odd!  I guess that's what makes them TCK's (third culture kids).

Thankful for the oddities in my life, 

m